Pay Attention to Yourself

This is the last installment in the series of what I learned in college and how it helps me now. I’ve told you how I learned to use a weekly template and a monthly calendar to manage my time. I also told you that in order to get stuff done I also had to learn the importance of community and self-care.

Today, I want to tell you how I began practicing self-awareness. College can be stressful for many reasons. We each handle stress differently. We often have to learn how to do that in a healthy way. As I mentioned with the poor eating and sleeping habits, I didn’t start out with the best coping practices.

Part of my story is that I accrued considerable consumer debt while I was in college. I left home with very little experience managing money. I didn’t understand how credit worked. I was a smart kid but just didn’t know some consumer basics. I was amazed that I could get all that new stuff for only $29 a month!

I still remember feeling like I had bombed a test and commiserating with my friends as we headed to the mall to feel better. Getting new clothes or shoes made us feel better for a little while. The result of my test was still looming, but for a bit, I was distracted and happy. Somehow stopping by Cinnabon or some other indulgent treat became part of our ritual.

Thanks to the power of credit, I was spending money I didn’t have, and I was bringing more stuff into my small dorm room, and adding inches to my middle. I wasn’t even realizing what I was doing.

Self-awareness

It might have been the number of times I had to pack and move all that stuff before I realized I needed a better way to cope. Perhaps it was the mad dash to keep money in the bank to at least cover the minimum payments. I honestly can’t remember how I finally grew sick of the stress of dealing with the growing mountain of debt that ironically had been amassed to help me fight off that stress.

I had also started to see how much money all those sale items were really costing me after I had paid all that interest (and sometimes late fees). I learned the hard way how credit cards work! Those companies were glad to help me satisfy my desires immediately instead of waiting and saving up for these purchases.

The summer I met the boy who would become my husband, I was on the brink of declaring bankruptcy. He helped me see that that decision would impact our future. Yes, I could be free of that debt, but I would suffer consequences. We would suffer consequences. He helped me find another solution, and I had to work hard to get out of the hole I had dug.

I became aware of how often I wanted to use retail therapy to make myself feel better. I started paying attention to the triggers for all the behaviors that I was trying to change. I started connecting the packed closet and cluttered room to the mountain of debt.

Self-awareness is the path to growth.

How it helps me as an adult

I am grateful now that the same boy (who is now my husband) is helping our kids understand money. They know way more than I did when I was going off to college. For my part, I hope I am displaying more discernment as a consumer. I am more careful to measure what I really want to bring into my home and closet. I don’t fall prey to the offers that credit card companies still use to get people to sign up. I use credit cards responsibly and do not purchase outside of my budget.

I have learned to be a student of my own behavior. I still evaluate if my choices for managing stress are actually helpful or if they are causing problems.

Being mindful helps me to break patterns that are not helpful.

How it can help you

Pay attention. If you find you are developing a habit that is harming your health or well-being, find the trigger. Then pre-decide an alternate, positive behavior. Learn habits now that will set you up for a successful future.

How you handle money in college, for example, will set up patterns that are hard to shake. Decide now how you want to view material consumption. Be very careful with credit cards–understand the true cost of deferred payment and excess stuff!

Avoiding or changing bad habits will take self-awareness. Of course, you can also enlist the help of your friends—that is why community matters even and especially with this.

Again I’ll say, somehow these tips have become about life management and not just time management. The goal was to serve you as you seek to be truly productive. I hope these tips have served you.

Thanks for reading!