Find Your People

I’ll tell you a secret. I’m not a “people” person.  Well, maybe you know me and this isn’t a secret.  I am an introvert and recharge by being alone. I am also very task-oriented, so I will tend to be focused on doing things instead of spending time with people.

Interestingly, when I was trying to decide on my major in college, I chose civil engineering because it was the engineering discipline that most closely interacted with people. I wanted to be involved with the stuff people directly interacted with–not just machines and electrical systems. Yes, all of that also can be placed in the service of people, but somehow it was too far removed.

Civil engineers worked on roads, infrastructure, buildings, and water management: basic stuff that helped people. I chose it before starting college and never changed it. I even did coursework for a master’s degree in civil engineering.

Find Your People

When I first got to college, I was able to connect with other incoming students and that helped me learn my way around the school and the new place I was living. I’m grateful that strengthened my friend-finding skills.

When I started my classes, I found people with whom to study. It was helpful to pool our understanding of the material. It is often said that you reinforce you’ve learned material when you teach it to someone else.  We did that for each other.  We held each other accountable to show up and work on things together. We shared resources, primarily each other’s upperclassmen friends who had already taken the classes. 

I look back now and see that their mere presence helped me focus. We were in the trenches together. Community mattered.

Of course, we’re each responsible for our own performance but it was such a help to have people working alongside me.  So find your people to reinforce what you’re trying to learn because either they show you or you show them, and you’re all helped. 

At the least, it is a good idea to have at least one person that will share their notes if you have to miss class. Your own note-taking might be improved if you know someone might need to read the notes you’ve captured!

I do wish I had taken advantage of office hours and other options for learning from teaching assistants and even the professors themselves.. If a professor or TA has office hours, go in and meet them early in the semester, then when you need further explanation on anything, you will have already broken the ice.

How it helps me as an adult

Each week I conduct a quick assessment of how I worked on the things I planned. One of the main things I have learned about myself is that I need to involve people in the work I am doing. I have to either work with them or for them or at least tell them I will be working on something and need them to ask me how I’m doing. 

How it can help you!

Accountability, I have found, is best by invitation. I cannot “hold anyone accountable” because I think I see that they need to do something. Personally, I do not respond well to people telling me what to do. However, when I invite someone to check on me that gives them permission to ask me about something specific. That is very beneficial for me.

What about you? Have you invited people to ask you hard questions about the work you are trying to accomplish? I created a free resource to guide you through setting up an accountability relationship that I mailed to my email friends. Depending on when you read this, it may be up in the Free Printables section.

If you would like to receive this, reach out and I will send it to you!